Sex and the…Complicated Life of a Girl in Love.

A year ago, there was no way in hell anyone would get me to believe that I’d be able to compare my life to that of Carrie Bradshaw. A year ago, I was Samantha. And I had become content with the fact that that was the way I would be forever. A year ago, I was bitter and did not care about love. A year ago, I didn’t care about anyone more than myself - I was selfish, and nothing would be able to change that. A year ago, I was hardly even an acquaintance of Him, who, as of last night, became my Mr. Big.

He was my backup. I was using Him to cope with the fact that I’d been hurt by the person I thought would be my first, real relationship. I wasn’t planning on being with Him - let alone falling. No, it wasn’t a situation where I was trying to fight my feelings; I just did not expect them to happen at all.

But I fell - hard.

Like Carrie and Mr. Big, He became my first real relationship. Him and I have been through the breakups, the fights, and everything else. This has been the most complicated, yet satisfying almost-year of my life. However, last night proved that Him and I shadow Carrie and Big more than I could have ever expected. Just as Carrie and Big, Him and I are on different pages. I want it all. And he doesn’t quite know what he wants. And though we can agree that we miss and still care very deeply for each other, we agreed to part ways - giving each other time to figure ourselves out . And hopefully, once this hiatus is over (Spring Break, as we decided), we‘ll end up together again. Just as Carrie and Big did.

There are going to be days that I cry. There are going to be nights that I can’t sleep, and days that I can’t eat. There are going to be times when I literally have to fight myself so that I will not call him.However, since I’ve made this epic comparison, I have great hope that Him and I will become an Us again.

Until then, I have no choice but to learn to live without Him. Just as Carrie had to do.

Perhaps, I’ve been watching too many ‘Sex and the City’ reruns. Perhaps, I’m experiencing my first heartbreak. Perhaps, I’m going through an interesting combination of the two. Either way, I have no choice but to live.